Sand

We laugh a lot with babcia. She spends a lot of time with me and comes up with many ideas. We like to play in the yard where we cook meals from weeds and make dishes from water and flour. The long plants that are fishes are funny. We also make an obstacle course. You have to go down the stairs, jump to the concrete circle where dad makes a fire in the summer (sort of a barbecue but on the grass), and then climb the swing and walk over it to the tree. This is the hardest moment because it swings and you have to hold on tight. I love babcia but sometimes I want mama and I run to the door she came out. I am bad then because babcia loves me and she is sad that I do not want to be with her but with mama. Mama is out a lot but when she comes back she always talks with babcia. I play a board game with babcia, we roll the dice and move as many times as there are circles on the dice, and whoever is first at the finish line wins. It’s fun with babcia, just the two of us. I would like my brother to play with us too but he already goes to school. That’s why when babcia has to go because my mama comes back, I’m sad but she promises that will come tomorrow as well. I also like going for walks with babcia. On the way, I sometimes pick up a dandelion flower. The white ones are fun to blow on and the whole world is fluffy then. I once wanted to pick the yellow one because I saw my friends making such yellow wreaths, but neither my babcia nor my mama allows me.

I had a dream that Mrs. Babcia died. I haven’t thought about her for a long time. I don’t know where the dream about her came from. But I had a terrible feeling so I decided to grab the phone and call her. Maybe for a moment, I hesitated if I should care, but at the end of the day, I knew that if I didn’t call her, it would be stuck somewhere in my head and I preferred to settle my conscience. She picked up the phone quickly but it took her a while to figure out who was calling. Eventually, she seemed to recall who called her. Then I was able to hear her smiling. She seemed glad that I called. When I asked how she was doing, she said that she mostly was sitting at home. She also asked me how Zuza was doing. I didn’t answer but exclaimed how glad I was that she was doing ok. We exchanged some more civilities and hung up. The phone call didn’t last long, although I would have liked to talk with Mrs. Babcia more, as we used to have fun when I was a child and I know that she is a great person.

Mrs. Babcia is sitting in the living room. Actually, I think I love her so much. She took care of me. Now I am just staring straight ahead when she tells for the third time the same story that happened 16 years ago. She relives it as if she was confessing it for the first time. She tells the story longing how the three of us played in the yard and how scared she got when I fell over and sand got into my mouth. She confesses to mother that she did not tell her this earlier because she was afraid that my mother would fire her, but she apologizes and promises that nothing happened to me, she rinsed my mouth straight away. I don’t even remember it. We promise Mrs. Babcia that nothing happened and beg her to promise that she will forget about it and will not bother herself with it ever. After a while, it’s time for her to come home. We go with her up to the gate. Mrs. Babcia tells the story of how I fell over and sand got into my mouth.