Gender Reveal
You were all invited to the gender reveal of my knives.
Cake was the only family to attend.
I shattered glass terrariums upon personalized placards.
Cursed the gods of snacks for taking so long to brand themselves woke.
The realtor I hired sent condolences in swathes of corporate regalia.
I placed printer cartridges up my urethra to piss contractual smiles.
“We’re sorry you feel”, the rest auto-tuned within 24-48 hours.
I took advantage of the rented trampoline by learning how to stay fucking put.
The nude who jumped from my hollowed out cake accused escalators of putting stairs out of
business.
Other Works
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by Allison Whittenberg
... So trite, my boss, stereotypically balding, puts his hands on my shoulder ...
2 Poems
by Dig Wayne
... you play it square and fair / narrow and straight / ease on down / to the cold morning’s hoarfrost ...